It's been a while once more and with reason, sadly not for a lack of waves although they have been as rare as rocking horse waste!

At the beginning of September my mums well being began to slide into the cause for concern category. Slowly at first but with ever increasing speed her tenure at the care home became eventually unsustainable. Quite why this occurred is open to debate as, although her PSP was always going to be a factor eventually, it just didn't seem possible that things could alter quite so dramatically.

From about mid July her appetite lessened and there would be the odd 'bad' day, though nothing unmanageable. However, as we moved into the 9th month of the year this refusal of sustenance increased, including fluids, to the point where the situation moved beyond the care home's remit until given clearance otherwise.

Mick and I had had a meeting in late August with Social Services which had raised our concerns regarding their view of mums status the moment it began. The opening salvo being along the lines of "have you sold/valued your mothers bungalow?" even before any mention of her well being or future care!!!! Our immediate riposte as to whether she'd been medically assessed yet, really caught them off balance and set an uneasy tone.

A week later and a visit to mum by Suz and I turned into something quite different, when we discovered that a medical assessor from the local authority would be there soon to do just that. All well and good, but we should have been informed of this arrangement by them so a relative could be present too, and certainly wasn't expecting anything for another week at least. Just as well we'd gone off chance then eh?!

The assessment wasn't the most pleasant experience I could wish for anyone, but wasn't cause to suspect anything untoward. We didn't like the 'talking over mum as if she wasn't there' kind of thing, but in hindsight the alternative of not involving her didn't seem a better solution either. The conclusion was inconclusive-borderline is it's best description then and now, with a Community Psychiatric Nurse being decided upon as the next step.

Mum meanwhile persisted with her refusal of (most) food and fluids and added some odd behaviour into the mix as well; namely deliberately falling out of her chair and undressing to name but two. This eventually lead to the CPN calling time and rattling some cages to get her moved to an Assessment Unit at Grantham Hospital as an emergency.

But why the dramatic change in behaviour which appeared to centre around a now irrational fear that her bungalow was going to be sold behind her back to pay for her care. Until then the subject although broached was always done so without giving her cause to worry. There was always assurance that it wouldn't be sold behind her back. Indeed the intention was to involve her fully as and when it would become necessary. But after that meeting and having done the sums conservatively, even in the worse case scenario, it didn't look as if the property would have been needed to be sold to fund any care; quite the contrary.

Had a third party sown some seeds along these lines, whether with good intent or otherwise? Difficult to point any specific fingers but you have to wonder what if? The coincidence in timing is too clear to dismiss totally.

Either way, she has now been there for about a fortnight and has included a brief move to the Emergency Assessment Unit last week for a day, which didn't in the end seem to serve any real purpose.

After our visit yesterday on her 85th Birthday it has now come to the stage where we are now counting down an unknown period of time until it's time to say goodbye to her too. She now clearly has the look of a doomed woman, made not that much easier by our having to consent to a DNR course of action when (not if) the time comes.

2007 can't finish quick enough in my book, and with the prospect of a family feud stewing from another branch, it's fair to say the wait will feel that much longer than it should be!!!
posted by wollocks at 12:15 PM